The ones that change our minds….

People get into the healthcare field because they like to work with, well, people…….don’t they??

Doctors, nurses, social workers, techs or aides, pharmacists…..no wait a minute…..

NOT pharmacists or anesthesiologists or x-ray techs or lab techs, they don’t wanna work with people,  do they? 

That’s not the point. Really. 

The point is, I went back to school at the age of 42 to get my Masters in Social Work because I like to work with people. 

Most of the time.

A lot of the time.

Ok, ok…….some of the time. 

Truthfully? People can be assholes. 

But there are the shining stars, the golden apples, the bees knees, the ones we don’t forget. The ones that are the very reason that we work with people.

THE ONE

Mister W was one of those guys. A 58 year old Veteran with seizure disorder who came to my work place due to a massive seizure. He could no longer feed himself, dress himself, bathe or toilet himself and he was agitated as hell.

Mister W flailed around in his bed and would slide down in a chair in a heartbeat if he wasn’t watched, monitored and redirected 24/7 (medical slang for 24 hours 7 days a week). Some days all he did was scream ‘Fuck YOU!’ at the top of his lungs to the lucky lady assigned as his sitter.

Mister W could not be left alone. Not for a second. He was in four point restraints meaning his wrists and ankles were wrapped and tied to the bed. Inhumane? Perhaps. But this was for his safety……..at first. 

My office was just down the hall from Mister W’s room. I heard his yelling, his frustration, his sadness and desperation. He wasn’t ‘my’ patient meaning he was not on my team. I was not his social worker. But his angst spoke to me. I had to see who he was and learn his story. 

I began to come to his room in the morning to say Good Morning and in the evening before I left work to say Good Night. The ladies that sat with him were frustrated and annoyed by his constant movement. This one patient was a full time assignment. But that was just it, he was more than an assignment. He was a person. A man. A son. A father. 

Sometimes we lose sight of who people are when they are in circumstances that are different than the norm. It is those of us who dedicate our lives to be caregivers and medical professionals that need to reign our jaded attitudes. We signed up to serve.

After years of being ‘beaten’, verbally abused and unappreciated by friends, family and patients we become angry and bitter. Tired of the red tape, tired of the ignorance, we grow a jagged edge.

Mr W. softened my edge. His violent screams of profanity made me wonder. I visited multiple times a day for weeks and weeks. The family and medical staff truly did not know what to do for him.

I knew what I could do. I could show him I cared.

Some days I went in to give him a hand massage, turn on his favorite Judge Judy, make sure someone was coming that evening to cut his hair, or simply hold his hand.

He spoke few words but always acknowledged my presence…..

One day, I came in and grabbed his hand, greeting him with a ‘Morning W. ‘

He threw himself in my direction and said, ‘Morning! I am happy.’

I was surprised and pleased. I asked him why he was happy…..

‘Because you love me,’ he said. ‘You really do love me.’ Tears sprung to my eyes and I pushed my wide smile forward to fight the tears. 

‘Yes, I sure do love you W,’ I said, ‘I sure do.’ I grabbed his hand tighter and stayed a bit longer that morning.

From that day forward…..

our exchanges were different. He knew my face and he knew I cared.

He didn’t need to know who I was or why I was there…..he needed to know that I was. 

Just as a newborn baby, human or animal, imprints upon a non-biological being, Mr. W recognized me as a caring, loving being consistently there for him. 

Sometimes we forget. Caregivers, parents, adult children, mates……we can do so much with so little effort. Some days it seems like it is never enough. In all reality, it is never too little.