‘Judgement: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing‘
My daughter says I’m judgy.
‘You’re awfully judgy for a social worker, Mom.’
Enh, maybe I am. Okay, okay I am. Not to defend the act of judging, BUT being a social worker creates judgment in the act of social working.
Did you get that?
Social working needs ‘judgment’. Because you know what happens when you stop judging? You make mistakes. In social work, call it what you may, but judging character is an essential part of the job.
I have a 95 year old client. He is cared for by his ‘daughter’ and her ‘boyfriend’. The client keeps coming to the hospital and does not appear to be well managed at home. He has dementia so is an unreliable historian……in other words, we can’t believe what he says.
We believe what we SEE. We have to believe what our gut tells us, trust our senses. This is something I was reminded of time and time again over the past year.
EVERY TIME I ignored my gut, that little sinking feeling in my belly, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I made a mistake. Something happened. It might not have been critical or traumatic, but something happened and not for the better.
We need to learn to trust our guts. As I age, this is one thing I am becoming better and better at doing………..
If my gut tells me that your interest in me is for ulterior motives, I immediately move on.
If my gut tells me not to go my usual route for work, I choose an alternate.
If my gut tells me the guy begging to take my daughter out is no good, it’s a solid no.
My gut does not lead me astray and yours doesn’t either. Maybe you’re just not listening.
Pay better attention.
So, what happened with my client and his caregivers?
I listened to my gut. I trusted myself. His caregivers came in to meet with the medical team. They were disheveled, wreaked of cigarettes and were covered in tattoos. Their dentition was poor and their language was crude. If I left my comments at that, and determined they were poor caregivers, THAT might be judgy. But, I noticed.
They were defensive of their abilities and accusatory of malpractice and poor care from every other provider ever encountered. They blamed. I listened. And, quite honestly, I judged.
Not surprisingly, we discovered while coordinating my client’s discharge, that there was an open Adult Protective Services case on this man. His home environment had been reported unsafe and was being investigated. He would not return home just yet.
So, the old song ‘Listen to Your Heart‘ by Roxette a la 1988 remains true. Heart, gut, inner voice. Whatever term you choose. Listen. Judge. Trust. You will thank yourself later.